I Will Remember You
by k2912p
Summary: Set during "Remembrance Of Things Past", how does Amanda learn of Lee's "death", and how does she react to it? One-shot


Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs. King is the property of Warner Bros. and Shoot the Moon Prod. This story is for entertainment purposes only, no infringement is intended.

 _Author's note: While watching "Remembrance of Things Past", I couldn't help wondering how Amanda received news of Lee's death, and how she had dealt with it immediately afterwards. This is my answer to that question. SMK is my favorite show of all time, and Lee and Amanda are my OTP. This is my first SMK fanfic, so please review!_

Amanda stared out the window forlornly while doing the rest of the dinner dishes. "Oh, Lee," she whispered as she gazed out the window. She longingly wished to just one more time see his face pop up and surprise her, wished just one more time to hear him tap on the window, but she knew it was not meant to be.

She thought back to the horrible phone call from a couple days ago. Amanda had been cleaning the kitchen when the phone had rung. She answered it as she usually had, not expecting this to be the phone call to change everything.

"Hello?"

"Amanda, it's Billy Melrose."

"Oh, hello, sir!" she greeted him cheerfully.

"I'm afraid the news isn't good, Amanda." There was a dramatic pause, as if he needed to collect himself before proceeding. "I'm sorry to have to tell you Lee was murdered last night."

She gripped the countertop willing herself to stay on her feet as stars danced in front of her eyes. When she found her voice, it was high and strained. "Murdered? Sir, what happened? I can't believe this. This has to be a mistake!"

"I'm sorry Amanda, it's not a mistake. I, uh, identified his body myself. I really am so sorry to have to give you this news. Are you okay?"

"Okay, sir?" Her grief-stricken voice was taut with emotion. "No, sir. Nothing about this is okay." She put her professional front on. "Sir, is there anything I can do? Do you need any help with the arrangements?"

She thought she could hear him smile. "No, Amanda. We'll take care of it. There will be a small service tomorrow. I'll call you when we have the details. I must remind you that you are still bound by the oath of secrecy you took with us. You can't talk about this with anyone. Now, if you need me, you know where to find me. I am very sorry Amanda."

She heard the click, and knew the call was disconnected. Numbly, she returned the receiver to it's cradle and slid to the floor, clutching her knees to her chest. She was glad her mother and the boys were away at the moment. Her mother was out shopping with some friends and her boys were still in school. She was glad she had that hour to mourn by herself.

Amanda was rather surprised by the intensity of her emotions as she really didn't know Lee all that well. She had tried to get to know him, and had hoped one day he would consider her a friend. Now she would never get that chance. She cradled her head in her hands and wept for the lost agent, gone way too soon.

Now, a day later, as she stood at the sink and wistfully looked out the window, she began to reflect on truly how much was lost. Lee was a good man who loved his country and fought to protect it. It pained her greatly to think no one would ever know how good and kind and decent he truly was. Was. The word seemed so foreign when thinking of Lee. Thinking of Lee in the past tense was something her brain could not seem to allow her to do. She still very much expected to see his dimpled smile pop up in her window. She closed her eyes and remembered his face. She thought of his strong jaw, and how the muscle would jump when he was upset. She pictured his youthful skin, which added to his boyish charm. She visualized his hazel eyes that darkened to almost brown when worried, and brightened to nearly green when happy. Oh, how she could get lost in those eyes! And of course, those dimples! When he smiled at her, it seemed to radiate into her very core. She stood there for several minutes, a smile upon her face as she thought of him. Reality washed over her like a bucket of ice water, and she remembered that she would never see that smile again, never feel that warmth.

She needed to send flowers! How could she have forgotten! She would call the florist first thing in the morning. His loved ones needed to know how special he was, and how much he was going to be missed! Loved ones…. The thought stopped her cold. She knew he didn't have much in the way of friends, and the ones he did have weren't allowed to know what he did for a living. No one would know he existed! The thought of this filled her with such an intense sadness that she needed some time to herself. She knew her mother and the boys were upstairs; her mother in her nightly bath, the boys in bed. She quietly slipped out the side door and went to the spot where she usually met him. Their spot.

She sank down to the ground and leaned against the building, hugging her knees to her chest. She finally allowed the tears to fall that she'd been holding in all day since the service. All funerals are sad, but his was so…impersonal, no shared stories, no taking comfort in shared loss that had been a large part of every other funeral she had attended. It made the loss of him all the more profound.

"Oh, Lee," she whispered softly "Why did this have to happen to you? You were the best! How did someone get to you?"

She reflected on her thoughts of a few moments ago, how Lee had no close friends and no family that she knew of. The friends he did have probably didn't really know him. In fact she wondered if anyone, other than herself, really knew him, really knew what a good man he was, if they really knew what a big loss this was. She sniffled as the tears continued to fall. He had done so much good in this world and it would go unknown and unrecognized. He would just be a note in a file somewhere. That thought took her sadness and made it unbearable. How could someone as good as Lee Stetson not be remembered? But he was remembered, her inner voice reminded her. You remember him! She knew what a good person he was, she knew all the good he had done, she knew the kindness in his eyes and in his heart. Even if the world couldn't know about Lee Stetson and his heroics, Amanda King did, and Amanda King would never forget!

She found some comfort in the thought, and vowed in that moment to always remember Lee and what he stood for. She whispered into the night air, "I will remember you, Lee." After a few more moments of tears, she pulled herself together, wiped off her face and went into the house.

A lone figure in the shadows had witnessed this whole episode. He was truly moved by her emotions for him. He didn't know if anyone had ever felt that much about him. To see that his death had affected her so greatly and made her so sad, seeing how much she had cared, brought about emotions in him that he didn't know how to handle. A lump formed in his throat as tears stung his eyes.

He had known people who had died before, in fact, he had been with people when they had died. In this business, oftentimes it was way too soon and at the hands of the enemy. Those people were like he, leading a secret life no one could know about. No friends or family to mourn their loss, just a footnote in a file. There was no one to care that they were gone, no one to even know they had ever lived, really, and they would certainly never be remembered. This woman, whom he had barely begun to know, cared so much about him that his death had brought her to tears.

Her promise to always remember him echoed in his head like a sweet refrain. It was always known to the agent that there may be a mission one day from which they didn't get to come back, that one day they may cease to exist. They went into this with full knowledge that it would be as if they never had existed, and they had to make their peace with that. Lee thought he had done that a long time ago. Tonight, seeing Amanda so upset and hearing that beautiful promise come from her lips, stirred something in him, something he never thought he would experience. With his emotions now in complete disarray, he straightened up and, clearing his throat, whispered into the night, " Sleep well, Amanda, tomorrow will be a better day."


End file.
